Why!!??

Why? Why do such deserving people have to feel such heartbreak?
Why does He give to just take away moments later?
I will never know the answer but pray I will begin to trust the reason even though I may never understand.
There are women who are going through this heartbreak today, most we do not know, but some we do. My dear friend I am thinking about you today! I am sooooo angry that we have to experience this. I hate that our dreams were shattered. Yeah, we must go on but we will NOT forget them! I think about my babies everyday, and they are always in my heart.
This week S would have been 13 weeks, past the "critical" stage. We would have seen S's baby belly. We would be talking and planning the upcoming events, finding out the sex, the baby shower, the beginning of the nursery, all the "fun" stuff. Uggghhh, Why did this have to end?!
J and S are coming to town for his grandma's b day and we are going to have dinner with them next week. I am a little nervous, I hope I don't break down crying! I have been doing [pretty well, staying busy defiantly helps. But then something happens or pops up in my email or snail mail that brings back all the disappointment. Signing up for baby center and weekly updates has not made this easy! Just when i think I have deleted all the updates i receive one more!
Please pray for us as we see S and J for the first time since the miscarriage and we go to our follow up apointmentt with the IVF Dr on the 23rd. We have so many questions that we hope can be answered. Answers that will hopefully put our fears at ease so we can begin the next step towards having a baby!